it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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