so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
