coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
