Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
