I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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