shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize