Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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