i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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