i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
