are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
