I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
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