I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
