theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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