Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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