Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
