Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
