It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
