last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Come on in and take your pants off
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