WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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