he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
