do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.