I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang