i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
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Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
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Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy