The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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