tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning