I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.