i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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