now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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