I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
