he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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