if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
