I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
