You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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