So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
