Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize