she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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