He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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