and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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