STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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