I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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