I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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