Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize