I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My cat gives me a boner
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
