He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
