my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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