Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
