i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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