is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think weed is turning my hair brown
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