You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
