Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
