Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize