shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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