I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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