So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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