I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
