How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
