I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
