You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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