i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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