If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
