No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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