the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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