You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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