Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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