if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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