You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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